Friday, October 16, 2009
An Update on my life
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Funny!!
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan Officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for
The loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank.
She has the Title, and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at
The blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 Loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the
bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the
Interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, 'Miss, we are very happy to have had your
Business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a
Little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The blonde replies, 'Where else in New York City can I park my car
For two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?'
AT LAST, a smart blonde joke!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Hi everyone, long time no update eh? hehe, Well, I don't know what to say, refinance didn’t go through screwing over plans for finishing the basement for a few months, and we're going to have to pay another fee for getting the house appraised which the guy said it would be able to go through so in good faith we paid for it and now it can't well that was almost $400 and now it's screwed up our whole financial system and now we've got things getting screwed over all over the place credit cards that we had figured would be fine because they were a month down the road aren't so good anymore. We had to resort to using credit just to survive this month borrowing money and the whole bit it's really irritating. Anyway I s'pose that's basically what I’ve been doing.
On a happier note, I went up to Seattle to see my sister graduate with her master’s degree from Devry college and things are looking up for her, it's really cool. I came back on Friday night hung out with friends, went to work on Saturday and then went camping on Monday night with my friend we'll call him E-Man I don't know that sounds alright for now. That was awesome I love smores. :D
Thats my life up until now. I'll post another update tomorrow night about the way my mission is going. Til then Auf Wiedersehen
Friday, March 6, 2009
Beat the IRS
I'm sure this isn't exactly what ya'll were expecting as a blog update but, i think its worthy.
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa. 'How about a demonstration?'
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Well, I guess I'll update my blog.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Confusion, Fear, and Limbo
I'm stuck in Limbo, unable to move forward, stuck in time, re-living the past, not wanting to move forward, to afraid to move forward, unsure of what the future holds, too afraid of what the future holds, I know the past I know what I have done, I cannot say the same for the future. I don't know whats going to happen and it scares me.
Well that's my whole soul, I just poured it all out.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
My thoughts on the YouTube "censorship"
First make it so the display picture of the video does not include any sexually themed picture of the video.
Second just have it highlight a video or something to mark it as having vulgarity.
Why not do any of that? I just think they're trying to remove the videos that would prevent them from making more money on the site.
Anyway I think its ridiculous the way they are going about this.